Dreams
by Loopy Loki
Summary: Extract I dream of futures I’ll never have, I dream of a way things could be, I dream of a life of hope and love,I dream of what could have been. Cagalli sucide oneshot


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or Destiny or any of the characters unfortunately though I would love to because if I did you would be watching this instead of reading this.

A/N This is a suicide story so be aware it is angst. This story is set after Destiny. I really do not what is going to happen in the end so I'm assuming that all the characters in this are actually alive if not imagine they are. Note Athrun and Cagalli are not together and Cagalli is back at orb. This is a one shot

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Orb-

"Miss Attha is there anything I can get for you?" The timid maid asked Cagalli.

"No I'm all right, Mandy" Cagalli replied as she continued to sign the last of the documents on her desk not looking up. "Why don't you take the rest of the night off, I'm just going to finish the rest of the rest of this work and go sit on the balcony and watch the sun set."

"Are you sure?" the maid asked clutching a serving tray to her chest.

Cagalli looked up to look at the maid before replying "I'm sure I can manage myself for one night."

"Ok miss" Mandy bowed before she left the office a smile on her face, _perfect_ _everything's going as planned; she doesn't expect anything now to go inform the others._

When the door finally closed Cagalli let a breath she wasn't aware that she was holding, she lent back into her chair looking around her office. The walls were a light blue, the floor a carpeted cream covered in files and documents that either had been read or signed or needed to be. Her desk was a polished oak that used to be her fathers she run a finger lovingly over the textures on the desk as she thought off all the times her father at sat at this very desk. A sad smile graced her lips at the thought of her father. She continued to gaze at her desk, and like the rest of her office it was covered with work that was completed or yet to be completed.

She let out a deep sigh tears gathering in her eyes "is this all I will ever be? Someone who consistently works for a nation and for people who do not care?" she asked the silence softly getting no answer she looked at three photo's on her desk they only personal items that decorated the room.

The first Photo was of herself at the age of six in a green dress hugging her father in his business suit a big smile on both of their faces. Out of all the photos of her father she treasured this one the most because it was the one he treasured. The second photo was of her Mother holding twins a blond haired baby girl and a brown haired boy her brother Kira. The last photo was a photo that was taken after the war with all of the people she fought along side with and some she fought against. In the Middle Kira and Lacus had their arms around each other I stood apart to the rights side. On the right side people from the earth alliance and the archangel where all standing together couples could be spotted in the mix, Including Murrue and Mwu. On the left hand side most of the Coordinators and Zaft soldiers where standing together, Yzak stood next to Dereka who had his arm around Mirrella next to them was Luna her sister, Shinn, Ray and everyone else.

_Even in a crowd I'm still alone_, _but no longer will I have to be alone, everything's going as planned. _ "Soon it will be all over"a smile touched Cagalli a true smile unlike all the fake smiles she had been forced to wear, as she picked up a plain blank white envelope with a letter in it along with the three photos on her desk. It wasn't until she reached the door did she realise that she had been crying.

_Am I crying out because of fear?_

_Am I crying out because of joy?_

_Am I crying out because of sadness?_

I touched my cheek to make sure the tears where really there a testament to my feelings as I slowly looked for the last time at my office I pulled out a key and locked the door, before I walked towards the balcony to watch the sunset.

Else where in the Atha household Mandy was talking quickly into the phone receiver with excitement "Yes everything is going as planed Miss Cagalli has just come out of her office and is going to watch the sunset of the balcony"

"Good we will be their soon, tell the Chef that we are all bringing a dish so he needn't go to much trouble and once again you have our thanks for helping set this all up." A young male voice replied from the other end of the receiver.

"Oh it's nothing, Mr Kira we all love Cagalli and are happy to do what we can to make her happy."

"Thanks again, and goodbye we will see you soon" the phone went dead as the phone was hung up at the other end.

Mandy hung up the phone smiling to her self "Well I best be getting everything ready for our visitors". Humming silently she made her way out of the room.

Kira's house-

"Ok everything is going as planned people. " Kira announced to his friends as he hung up the phone "lets head over".

Grunts could be heard as everyone started to make their way to their cars.

Lacus walked up to Kira wrapping her arms around him giving him a quick kiss on the check. "This is such a good idea, I can't wait to see Cagalli it's been so long almost a year. She is going to be so surprised especially when she sees Athrun." Lacus giggled.

Kira smiled as he looked down at Lacus sweet face before answering "Yes it has been to long since I've seen my sister. Everything is going as planed"

"SHUT UP ATHRUN there is no way I am ridding in that car with You" A voice shouted out along with the shouting "ME TO ZALA I'M NOT GOING WITH YOU"

"SHINN, YZAK!" Everyone shouted in unison

Kira let out a deep sigh "do we have to take them with us their acting like children"

Lacus let out a musical laugh "Yes otherwise it wouldn't be a reunion"

"I guess so" Kira remarked sullenly as he made his way to the car.

Cagalli's House------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cagalli sat against the wall on the floor as she looked out across her garden to the sun which was slowly beginning to set; the view from the balcony was amazing thought Cagalli as she looked down at the five objects in her lap. Her three treasured photos, a envelope with her suicide letter and a beautiful dagger. She picked up her letter and placed it underneath the pot plant near her so it would not blow away. And looked down once more at the photos of her father, Mother, Brother and friends before she picked up the dagger and held it up to her left wrist and slashed down hard over the vein.

Cagalli gasped out in pain her blood coughing from her mouth, before she raised her left hand to slash at her right her wrist before her strength left her completely.

"Just once more and it will be over" Cagalli gasped out as she cut her right wrist the knife dropping into the puddle of her blood that was growing by the minute. She looked up at the setting sun, as its dying rays reached her. As her time left was dwindling she thought as she gazed once more at the photos

_Kira, Lacus everyone I'll miss you all, even you Athrun even though you broke my heart I'll still love you and miss you_

Cagalli traced the outline of her friends and family her blood marking the photos. Just before her last breath left her she looked up at the beautiful setting sun reaching its final stages just like her life.

The sun set, its light still shining in the sky Cagalli let out a sigh of relief and a smile as she died. The fleeting sun the only witness to the Goddess of victory's last moments

_Mother,Father, Ahmend I'm coming._

Cars pulled up at the front of Cagalli's mansion as Kira, Lacus, Athrun, Yzak, Derka, Mirrella, Murre, Mwu, Andrew, Shinn, Luna her sister, Meer and Ray made their way up to see Cagalli.

"Oh I can't wait to see Cagalli " Cried as she rushed up to the house "Come on you slow poachers"

"Are you looking forward to seeing Cagalli Athrun?" Shinn asked as they made their way to the balcony Mirrella already up the stair case and going on to the balcony.

"Yes, but I have to admit I'm a bit nervous I haven't talked to her since the war ended"

"Why?"

"Well…." Before Athrun could answer Mirrella screamed, everyone run to the balcony to see what was happening as they rushed up the stairs and onto the balcony they all paused in shock.

Before them sitting in a pool of Blood was Cagalli the blood still pouring from the cuts on her wrists. Tears all streaming down from their eyes as the looked at her silently, the one they thought never gave up, the one who was so strong, the one who was willing to marry someone she hated to make everyone else happy, the one who fought with all her spirit for what she believed in, the one who was now gone from their lives.

It was Kira who screamed first breaking the silence as he rushed over to Cagalli desperately looking for some kind of sign that this was just a joke that Cagalli was still alive but she wasn't

"NOOOOOOOO Cagalli, oh dear god no you can't be dead I need you" Kira cried out in pain hugging Cagalli's body to him not paying attention to the blood soaking his cloths.

Lacus fainted in shock, Andrews Coordinator skills barely being quick enough to catch her.

Everyone else was crying for their lost friend.

Athrun stood there to shocked to move tears falling endlessly from his eyes _Cagalli no, why_? _Why?_

Athrun wasn't the only one wondering why. It was then that he noticed a white letter under a plant he walked over next to Cagalli to pick up the envelope. Everyone paused in their grief to look at what Athrun was holding. Kira Looked up from Cagalli's body "Is is that it" Kira's voice cracked "is that her suicide letter"

Athrun could only nod he wiped the tears from his eyes so that he could make out what the letter said. It was a poem written in Cagalli's handwriting he cleared his voice before he read it out.

_I dream of futures I'll never have_

_I dream of a way things could be_

_I dream of a life of hope and love_

_I dream of what could have been..._

_Dreaming has gotten me nowhere_

_I have no will to fore fill my desires_

_I live in my dreams and hold them close_

_While they smoulder in dwindling fires_

_I have nothing to live for today or tomorrow_

_So I think of things that could have been_

_There is no hope for me only sorrow_

_So instead of living I dream._

The End-

Please Review I know its sad, I really didn't want to kill her but I read the poem my sister written and I just thought about how much pain Cagalli's been through and decided to write this.


End file.
